Britts Fight for Life (A mental health battle)

Considering the title most could figure out what this blog post will be about, but in all honesty everyone's depression is very different. Everyone has different views on what the hardest parts of their depressions is. This blog post is going to go over what my hardest parts to deal with are as I know many will have these same hardships in one way or another.  In my depression world it is very hard for me to explain what is going on in my head at every minute, but it's also hard to talk to people about it because what happens in my mind sometimes is dark and disturbing for those who do not deal with severe depression everyday. My mind going into the depths of my darkest depression is one of the hardest parts. When my mind is in that dark place the will to survive is such a struggle. All the normal things in life become things that could end my life. Those who don't suffer from depression with suicidal thoughts don't understand how the littlest things can become dange...

No one ever said life was going to be easy, but let me tell you some days are far worse than any other day. Living with a mental illness is never easy, but some days are so much harder to live than others. Today is one of those days. I am struggling, I am hurting, I am angry and disappointed in myself. Today is just one of those days where being positive is no where in my cards.  I have learned today that fighting a mental illness is hard on any given day, but when you find out you can't afford to get the help you truly need from your therapist and psychologist and realize your going to have to learn how to fight this on your own just makes your normal daily struggles even worse. I know now why people who struggle don't get help sometimes, why they don't reach out to professionals and why they end up taking their own lives because when you can't afford to pay for the help you truly need you try to fight your battle on your own and sadly most end up losing that battle...