True Panic
The worst parts of having PTSD is when you run into something that triggers your fear, anxiety and true panic. I havent really had a run in with my biggest trigger besides in movies or on TV, but today I had a run in with my biggest trigger in person sitting right in front of me. The moment I stood in front of my trigger I panicked. I tried my hardest to ignore the fear and panic that was setting in. I didnt know what to do so I tried to ignore it, but in the end it all became to much to handle. Knowing I was that close to the one object I wanted to use at one point to take my own life was to much for me. I had one of the worst panic attacks of my life and am still trying to come down from it. The panic consumes me. The fear controls me. The anxiety breaks me. I thought I was over this part of my life. I have watched movies with my trigger in it, I have watched TV shows with it in it and I have been okay besides a little anxiety at first, but coming face to face with this obj...