Britts Fight for Life (A mental health battle)

Life is never going to be easy when you are living with a mental illness. It is always going to be a struggle. That's nothing new right? I've said that a hundred times and yet here I am right now wondering why in the hell my life has to be this way and what did I do to deserve this life I am forced to live. This week has been hard, hell the last couple weeks have been some of the hardest weeks of my life. Starting a new job is never easy especially when it's changing the time you work. I went from working during the day to working during the night and it's been hell. I thought for once I had made the right choice. I would work all night and be able to do thins with my kids during the day and not have to pay a babysitter which would help financially and yet here I sit dying inside because of the choice I made. People in my life will think I'm stupid and crazy, but I made the decision to quit this job in order to keep myself safe/ Being alone at night may not be mu...

Work it's something almost every one does every day to help support themselves and their families. I have always been someone who was super dedicated to whatever job I was doing. I have always tried my hardest to make whatever job I was doing work out even if I hated it because I knew it meant the difference between my kids eating and not eating, but in a reality working is hard for me. I never feel like I'm in the right spot, I never feel like I am comfortable or needed where I'm at and I always feel like I'm not good enough to do my job. These feelings are all because of my mental illness. My mental state determines how I feel about my job on an everyday basis. Sadly for me most of the time I feel worthless. I try to stay at jobs for as long as I can so it doesn't look bad on my resume and lets other companies know that I am a hard worker and not a job hopper, but recently I have been seriously struggling with staying at my last two jobs. I recently (a month ag...

Everyday with a mental illness is a struggle. No two days are exactly the same struggles. One day the struggle is having anxiety about literally every aspect of your life, the next it's being depressed about where your life is at in that moment compared to where you dreamed it would be and then the next second your in your bathroom looking at yourself in the mirror wondering why the hell anyone would ever choose to love you and you fall to the floor because the pain of the war going on between your head and your heart is to much to bare and your looking for anything to take your pain away. In that moment everything falls apart and you start to fall into the black hole you've come to know so well. Right now that hole is where I am at. I'm clinging to the side of the hole and trying not to let myself completely hit the bottom because I know what happens when I hit bottom I lose all control and push the ones I love away because who the hell wants to love someone who wants t...