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Showing posts from December, 2019

Finding myself only to lose myself again

I've been sitting on this blog for a while now. Like literally months trying to figure out what I was going to write, what I was going to say and what I was truly feeling, but until now I just haven't had the right words to describe it. I've tried to write this 3 or 4 different times with different titles and nothing every felt right. I'm not even sure this feels right, but I felt like it was something I just needed to get of my chest and say so here it goes. The hardest part of living with BPD (borderline personality disorder) is the constant feelings of losing who you are. I hid who I was from the world for so long growing up because I didn't want those around me to know how messed up my head really was and I also knew that the views I had were completely different from the people around me and I was afraid that if they knew what I believed in and who I truly was they would leave me so I hid myself from them.  Over the last couple of years I thought I found w...