Memories never fade away
The hardest part of trauma (at least for me) is the memories. They never seem to go away or they do at least for a little while right? You can shove them aside for just long enough to believe they are gone forever, but the reality is they always come back and when they do they seem to hurt more and more each time. The older I get the more the memories seem to hurt. For me I believe it's because I still feel like the damage child that never got the chance to fully heal. It feels like no matter what I do in life I will never be fully healed. Even though I absolutely love my kids more than life it's self that sometimes doesn't keep me from wanting to walk away from this life all together. The hurt, the pain and the memories just get to be too much sometimes. I feel like it's hard enough to survive on a normal day, but the days where the memories are front and center in the brain, those are the days that truly are the times were not wanting to live takes over your day mo...